Post by RonMiller on Jul 24, 2004 19:45:48 GMT -7
The CIA, the FBI and the LAPD are each asked to prove their capability
of apprehending terrorists. President Bush releases a white rabbit
into a forest and tells each agency to catch it.
The CIA goes first. It sends animal informants into the forest. They
question all plant and material witnesses. After three months of intensive investigations the CIA concludes rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads it bombs the forest, killing everything, including the rabbit. It makes no apologies; the rabbit had it coming, they insist.
The LAPD go in. They come out after just two hours with a badly beaten
bear.
The bear is sobbing, "OK, OK, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit."
John W Howard hears about George jnr's idea and decides to test Australian law enforcement agencies. He releases a white rabbit into Blue Mountains National Park, near Sydney.
The National Crime Authority can't catch it but promises that if it
gets a budget increase it can recover $90 million in unpaid rabbit taxes and proceeds of crime.
The Victorian police go in. They're gone only 15 minutes, returning
with a koala, a kangaroo and a tree fern, all three shot to pieces. "They looked like dangerous rabbits and we acted in self-defence," they explain.
The NSW police go in. Surveillance tapes later reveal top-ranking officers and rabbits dancing around a gum tree stoned out of their minds.
The Queensland police go in. They reappear driving a brand new
Mercedes, scantily clad rabbits draped all over them.
The WA police actually catch the white rabbit, but it inexplicably
hangs itself when the attending officer "slipped out momentarily" for a cup of tea.
The SA and NT police join forces and beat the crap out of every rabbit
in the forest, except the white one. They know it is the black ones
who cause all the trouble.
The Australian Federal Police refuse to go in. It examines the issues,
particularly cost, and decides that because of low priority, high overtime and the projected expense to the AFP as a whole, the matter should be returned to the referring authority for further analysis.
ASIO goes into the wrong National Park.
of apprehending terrorists. President Bush releases a white rabbit
into a forest and tells each agency to catch it.
The CIA goes first. It sends animal informants into the forest. They
question all plant and material witnesses. After three months of intensive investigations the CIA concludes rabbits do not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads it bombs the forest, killing everything, including the rabbit. It makes no apologies; the rabbit had it coming, they insist.
The LAPD go in. They come out after just two hours with a badly beaten
bear.
The bear is sobbing, "OK, OK, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit."
John W Howard hears about George jnr's idea and decides to test Australian law enforcement agencies. He releases a white rabbit into Blue Mountains National Park, near Sydney.
The National Crime Authority can't catch it but promises that if it
gets a budget increase it can recover $90 million in unpaid rabbit taxes and proceeds of crime.
The Victorian police go in. They're gone only 15 minutes, returning
with a koala, a kangaroo and a tree fern, all three shot to pieces. "They looked like dangerous rabbits and we acted in self-defence," they explain.
The NSW police go in. Surveillance tapes later reveal top-ranking officers and rabbits dancing around a gum tree stoned out of their minds.
The Queensland police go in. They reappear driving a brand new
Mercedes, scantily clad rabbits draped all over them.
The WA police actually catch the white rabbit, but it inexplicably
hangs itself when the attending officer "slipped out momentarily" for a cup of tea.
The SA and NT police join forces and beat the crap out of every rabbit
in the forest, except the white one. They know it is the black ones
who cause all the trouble.
The Australian Federal Police refuse to go in. It examines the issues,
particularly cost, and decides that because of low priority, high overtime and the projected expense to the AFP as a whole, the matter should be returned to the referring authority for further analysis.
ASIO goes into the wrong National Park.